Rummy's Legally Tampered 2013 NFL Mock Draft (5.0)

As the young folk say, "it's been a minute, y'all." Actually two weeks, but whatever. Now that franchise tags have been applied and legal tampering era has begun, we see things a bit clearer as it pertains to what teams will do in April. Free agency will be an even bigger piece of the puzzle, but for now, we formulate and designate. Let's dance...

1. Chiefs- Luke Joeckel, OT Texas A&M

2. Jaguars- Star Lotulelei, DT Utah

3. Raiders- Shariff Floyd, DT/DE Florida

4. Eagles- Eric Fisher, OT Central Michigan

5. Lions- Dee Milliner, CB Alabama

6. Browns- Dion Jordan, OLB Oregon

7. Cardinals- Geno Smith, QB West Virginia

8. Buffalo- Barkevious Mingo, OLB LSU

Andy Reid and John Dorsey seem to be going all "Fear and Loathing" on us, and are determined to make all mock drafters look like rubes come April. With the release of top RT Eric Winston, it's looking more like Brandon Albert with play out his tag at LT for a year while the Chiefs groom their future LT at RT. That man? Word on the street says its Luke Joeckel, although I think Eric Fisher is the superior prospect. In any case, Joeckel is the call here. Gus Bradley is a defensive minded HC, and while I was tempted to give the Jags Geno Smith, I think they give Gabbert another year and more rope to either be Will Rogers or Brooks Hatlen. In the meantime, they take the scheme versatile powerhouse in Lotulelei, who once cleared in his medicals, will be an instant impact player in the NFL. Bradley will get every ounce of dominance out of this kid. BPA, and it's not even close. The Raiders stick with big Shariff Floyd to plug into their DL that is set to lose key players via FA. Chip Kelly is said to be interested in Eric Winston once free agency kicks off, so why not target Eric Fisher to secure the left side of his offensive line and make that high octane offense hum. Dee Milliner is not my favorite CB in this draft, but he's the consensus number one CB across most boards, and teams tend to fall in line accordingly at that position. Milliner helps out a weakish Detroit secondary day one. The Brownies keep their new OLB in Jordan and the Cardinals get a gift at #7 when the big armed Geno Smith falls to the big armed offense of Bruce Arians in Arizona. Mingo stays put in Buffalo, and Mike Pettine should know better than Les Miles on how to get the most from the big edge rusher.

9. Jets- Ezekial Ansah, DE BYU

10. Titans- Bjoern Werner, DE FSU

11. Chargers- Lane Johnson, OT Oklahoma

12. Miami- Cordarelle Patterson, WR Tennessee

13. Buccaneers- Xavier Rhodes, CB FSU

14. Panthers- Sheldon Richardson, DT Mizzou

15. Saints- Datone Jones, DE UCLA

16. Rams- Chance Warmack, OG Alabama

17. Steelers- Jonathan Cooper, OG North Carolina

18. Cowboys- Tank Carradine, DE FSU

Ziggy is still the "Ansah" for the Jets at #9, while whe equally raw but talented Werner falls to Tennessee at the 10 spot. Lane Johnson fills a huge need for San Diego at #11, and ridiculously explosive Cordarelle Patterson becomes the main target for Ryan Tannehill in Miami. Xavier Rhodes is the 2nd cornerback off the board (my favorite by far) and fills a glaring need for Greg Schiano's Bucs. I'll likely be moving Sheldon Richardson up my board in the coming weeks, but for now he's the perfect fit along the DL in Carolina. He'll help solidify their run defense and get to the QB hiccup-quick as well. Rob Ryan will need help up front for his 3-4 installation, and Datone Jones is a versatile 5-technique who can kick inside and play 3 technique in sub packages as well. The Rams and Steelers keep their All-World OGs in Warmack and Cooper respectively, while Tank Carradine is gifted to the Cowboys at #18. Tank's ACL recovery is the only thing keeping him from a top 5-10 designation. It's unfortunate, but Dallas clearly benefits in this case.

19. Giants- Arthur Brown, OLB Kansas State

20. Bears- Alec Ogletree, ILB Georgia

21. Bengals- Kenny Vacarro, S Texas

22. Rams (from Washington Redskins) - Tavon Austin, WR West Virginia

23. Vikings- Keenan Allen, WR Cal

24. Colts- Desmond Trufant, CB Washington

25. Eagles (from Seattle)- Jarvis Jones, OLB Georgia

26. Packers- Jonathan Cyprien, S FIU

Two linebackers come off the board as the Giants take their Boley replacement in the versatile Arthur Brown, and talented knucklehead Alec Ogletree is the heir apparent to talented knucklehead, Brian Urlacher. New head coach Marc Trestman is used to dealing with red flag/medical castoffs in Canada and turning them into elite players. The Bengals miss out on Arthur Brown, but get the best safety in the class to fall to #21 in Kenny Vaccaro...a pretty good consolation prize. Tavon Austin sticks with the Rams here, as they are expected to let Amendola test free agency. The Vikings select Cal's big prototype WR Allen and get the best fit for Christian Ponder's intermediate passing range. The Colts get the "Scrappy Doo" of the cornerback class in Desmond Trufant. Trufant does everything pretty well, and while he has some flaws to his game, he immediately improves the sieve of a Colt secondary. Crazy hunch on the next pick, but after passing on Dion Jordan early, it's a good value for Chip Kelly's defense to grab an OLB (with some questionable medicals) who fits the athletic scheme of their defense. Pete Carroll is more than happy to oblige his friend Kelly, and collect more mid round picks in exchange for the talented Jarvis Jones. My favorite safety in the class, Cyprien, stays put with Green Bay and gives them a versatile Chuck 2.0 to roam their secondary.

27. Texans- DeAndre Hopkins, WR Clemson

28. Broncos- Johnthan Banks, CB Mississippi State

29. Patriots- D.J. Fluker, OL

30. Falcons- Alex Okafor, DE Texas

31. Niners- Jesse Williams, DT Alabama

32. Ravens- Kevin Minter, ILB LSU

I stick by my initial assessment that the Texans need a complimentary WR to Andre Johnson that eventually could ascend to the #1 spot. Clemson's DeAndre Hopkins fits that bill. An explosive after the catch WR with arguably the best hands in the Draft, this is just what the doctor ordered for Matt Schaub. Johnthan Banks isn't a perfect CB, but the Broncos need help on the back end, and Banks can cover deep, something that was clearly amiss when the Broncos were shredded by Torrey Smith in the playoffs. If Banks can improve as a tackler, he's a very good value at this point. Speaking of value, the Patriots stay put in this mock incarnation, and select right tackle D.J. Fluker. If he sticks at RT? Great value if Vollmer is snatched up by a team that thinks he's a starting left tackle. If he doesn't fit at RT? I think he'll be even better at guard. Paired with Logan Mankins (who was picked at #32 a few years back), would make them arguably the best guard tandem in the league and a big boost to their run game. I considered Okafor for New England one pick prior, but with the Pats taking Fluker, old friend Tom Dimitroff takes John Abraham's heir apparent in Alex Okafor. Okafor is a terrific player and even better kid, who can be plugged in on day one. Sorry, Jesse Williams, I wanted to put you higher again, but your pure nose tackle skill set is best served here with the Niners. Williams is a machine vs. the run, and would immediately upgrade their interior DL. Kevin Minter is this year's Luke Kuechly in this man's opinion. A sure tackler with a nose for the football, while he won't be the vocal leader that was Ray Lewis, he will be a significant upgrade over the future Hall of Famer in coverage. A solid Ozzie Newsome pick.

That wraps up Mock 5.0, and I fully expect this mofo to blow up "Tropic Thunder" style once free agency kicks off, so hold your knee-jerk disdain until the next mock. Cheers and good beer, folks.